Friday, February 18, 2011

Aloha

Since I am staying true to my facebook fast, I figured I would update the state of Diamond Dansky Blitstein affairs here. Many of you know my dear mother and chose to vote (many of you on a daily basis) for her photograph in Shutterfly's Eye of the Beholder contest. The votes were to get her into the top 10 (out of 4,000-some pictures). Then, a panel of judges assessed those ten photos and chose a winner.

Well, I am tickled to announce that they did indeed choose my mother's beautiful photo of the Malibu sunset reflected in the waters of the Pacific!!

She is the grand prize winner!! What, you might be wondering, is the grand prize? Well, an all-expenses paid trip for 4 to Hawaii!

So until she decides who she's taking on her grand prize trip, I simply extend a giant Thank You to all of you dedicated voters out there who remembered to login and click on the link!! Can you believe those things are for real? And on top of being for real, my actual mom won?! I mean, she was always a winner in our book, but now it's totally official!

xxoo

Thursday, February 17, 2011

See What Blossoms

Can you believe this is growing in my house?  I think it's the first non-cactus plant that I have been able to keep alive.
The past week has been full of ups and downs. 

Ups:
- attending the For Pete's Sake Cancer Respite Foundation Beach Ball Gala at the Crystal Tea Room (so fancy)
- met the Phillie Phanatic (although, after the week-long Disney experience, seeing "characters" doesn't have quite the same thrill)
- taking 2 yoga classes (and participating heavily!)
- following through on my 2010 new year's resolution to get off of facebook
- hearing Judah tell me he completed "a obstacle course" at school
- lovely acupuncture (x2)
- lovely reflexology massage
- receiving our Disney photobook from shutterfly in the mail
- tasting supa dupa onion rings at PYT
- working on a new sewing pattern (for a handbag) with my mom (when I write working with, I mean watching my bag be made)
- not 1 but 2 new episodes of 30 Rock
- discovering 27 new messages in my voicemail
- growing (not killling) an amaryllis (I bet you it blooms tomorrow!)
- 1 week closer to the big PET scan

Downs:
- continuing shortness of breath/lung inflammation
- developing a new weird and unexplained skin sensation (like a sunburn without the sunburn) that may or may not be shingles (we are on a watch and wait status - the nurse's exact words were: Let's just see what blossoms...)
- hearing a doctor say, "Well, I can't say with certainty that you don't have MS, but this would be an atypical presentation."  Uh... okaaay.
- seeing my Penna Hosp therapist for the last time (no worries, I have a new, local therapist)
- discovering AT&T was hiding 27 new messages from me
- having to leave a friend's house to go see the doctor (focaccia?  good.  homemade soup?  good.  heart-shaped melty cookies? soooo good.)
- realizing I'm not going back to work any time soon
- updating my iPad changed the purpose of the screen-lock switch to be a mute button. boo.
- still have friggin cancer (as far as I know)

I will elaborate on many of these and more in the coming posts.  For now, to bed.

xxoo

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Livin It Up

Any guesses?  Post yours in a comment below.
Many people have asked me how I'm feeling now that treatment is over.  I am here to tell you there are still side effects (especially when you're in the top 2%) that just can't get enough of me.

The biggie we're currently dealing with is pneumonitis (Neumann!), inflammation of the lung, as a result of radiation.  The treatment (should your case be severe enough to require it) consists of steroids, so I said: thanks but no thanks.  We all know what happens to me on anything affecting my adrenal glands.  It's not pretty.  Instead, I'm trying to use vitamins, diet and acupuncture to reduce the inflammation.  Plus, I'm hoping it doesn't lead to something called pulmonary fibrosis, which I'm told, is a condition I do not want to have.  The real downside to this pneumonitis business is that I really need to avoid getting sick or irritating my lungs further.  This is not so easy when you live with a 3 1/2 year old.  Who goes to preschool.  And it's the middle of winter.
How sad is the swollen eyelid?

As if to underscore this impossible task, my typing was interrupted by a coughing spell so hard that it induced vomiting upstairs in the little man's room.  Dan and I swooped in to the rescue - Dan to the sheets and me to the child.  Aaah.  The joys of being a sick parent to a (differently) sick child.

I swear, I need a sneeze guard on my dinner plate.  The boogie boy has been coughing like a madman since Friday night (at 2 am).  Luckily, the cough has gotten slightly looser, but now of course that the congestion is moving north towards the head, the snot is moving south out of the nose.  I'm trying not to be a germophobe, and my skin is already super dry (as a result of this neverending winter, constant handwashing, and from treatment) but I really really really don't want to get sick(er).


Atypical lunch.  Exotic veggie Sarcone's = v good.
In regards to my diet, I've been trying to eat healthy (I type as my husband asks from the kitchen, "Are you coming to get the rum cake or not?).  By healthy, I mean a strict morning regimen of my multivitamins (shut up - I swear these gummies are for adults!), caltrate with extra vitamin D, fish oil and 1/4 cup of aloe juice (gag) chased with 1/2 cup of OJ.  I have my greek yogurt with granola and a bit of agave drizzled on top for breakfast and maybe a cup of tea and a toasted banana crunch muffin for a mid morning snack.  For lunch, I have a bowl of soup or some yums from Jules (whole wheat salad pizza, anyone?), or a big spinach salad with greek goddess dressing or goat cheese and nuts sprinkled on top.  Afternoon snack often consists of dips (I'm currently obsessed with this mexican dip from WF) or hummus on something crunchy.  Typical dinner: Israeli couscous (with mushrooms and onions, plus turmeric to reduce inflammation), steamed cruciferous veggie (such as cauliflower or broccoli) and broiled marinated salmon.

Green is good.
This is not to say that I did not majorly indulge during my birthday week(s) - the actual day was only a week ago anyway - everything in moderation, right?  That includes cupcakes and toffee too?  But I am trying to drink lots of tea (specifically Yogi raspberry leaf) when I've got the urge for something greasy, salty, chocolatey or all of the above.  I definitely feel better about myself when I'm eating veggies and drinking green smoothies (once again, I will send you over to chapterhouse, this time for a feel good banana, rice milk, honey and spirulina smoothie).  Since I'm not "in treatment", I consider my food intake to be my medicine.  At the very least, it makes me feel like I'm doing something to contribute to my wellness.

xxoo

Monday, February 7, 2011

Birthday Bonanza

Here's my purple martini, complete with edible orchid.
Wowza.  I didn't really feel much like celebrating this year.  I know, I know, I should enjoy every moment, live life to the fullest, yadda yadda.  And for the most part, I am trying to do that.  But I still am not ready to say the SCT (auto-stem cell transplant) is off the table and it's the end of cancer for us.  No one has mentioned the word remission yet, we still have a ways to go.  Even if I am lucky enough to beat this thing, I don't know that I'll ever be fearless enough to say it's the end of cancer (unless, of course, there's a freaking CURE!!!). 

 Back to the birthday.  While I typically have extremely high hopes for my birthday (I have cried on every birthday I've ever had), this year I just wanted to have a birthday.

So, when I awoke on February 2nd with "favorable" scan results (oh, and an ice storm - my husband got to hang around for an extra 2 hours before work), I was delighted.  I enjoyed some alone time in the morning, bargain shopping and treating myself to a new carseat for Judah.  A car seat?  A treat?  Yes, I'm tired of pinching my fingers in the non-Britax car seat belt and so I bought a newer, better seat that will last him up to 100 lbs.  Happy Birthday to me.

The afternoon was full of fun such as vacuuming, doing laundry and tidying up the house.  This may seem mundane and lame-O to most people, but I can appreciate the fact that I am able to do these things for myself now and I take a sense of pride and accomplishment in feeling productive afterwards.

Happiest Flowers Ever.
Throughout the day, I checked my email and each time, the Book of Face provided me with 29, 43, 17 new emails - lovely birthday wishes from old friends, family members near and far.  I certainly felt loved.  I mentioned the fact that I'd received over 100 birthday messages at dinner that night (my parents took us 3 out to Earth Bread & Brewery in Mt. Airy - very tasty beer and toasty pizza-bread), including a video-serenade from my 4th graders that brought tears to my eyes (made by my tech savvy co-teacher at school).  Dan's response: Yeah, there's Steeler Nation, then slightly below (in terms of sheer number of people) that is Mia's Fan Club.



Hard to tell here, but it's purple (duh).  Now on our bedroom wall.
Cards, flowers, artwork, new boots, Georgetown cupcakes, gift certificates, new music, chocolates, homemade toffee, flannel pajamas, delicious dinner with my friends (I'm still giggling today), new stamps plus purple ink and sparkly stickers:  I truly do feel loved.  I might even say that although I shed a few tears, this was my best birthday yet (without a doubt the one I've appreciated being here to enjoy the most).  Sometimes I guess it pays to not get too excited for your birthday.  You might just be surprised.  (And also, thank you to everyone involved in making it a lovely love-filled birthday time.)

Milestone note:  I got my hair cut last week.

Dibbs on the LEMON!!  DC Blitsteins ROCK!
This did not feel as monumental as I thought it would, but at least now there exists a style upon my head.  I've made the decision to keep it short at least until my PET scan results are in.  My reasoning being if it's SCT for me, I don't want to have to lose lots of hair a second time.  I will say this about short hair:  The cut truly does matter.  If your stylist gives your head the wrong shape, you can very easily look like a 12 year old boy.

Luckily for me, I have both an excellent stylist and my hair is growing back just as thick as before.  For some reason, the front is taking a while to get long, but at least I have full follicular coverage.  When I look at pictures of myself from a few months ago, I can't believe I thought I had hair.

Love you guys.












xxoo

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Health Services

Have I mentioned there are excavators doing work on our street?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but if there is a department entitled "Employee Health Services", wouldn't you think that the jobs of the lucky employees working there would include serving others?  The word "service" can be so deceiving.  And while I'm on the subject of health services, let me just ask if it takes anyone else's ONCOLOGIST a week to return a phone call.  Am I currently in treatment? No.  Am I currently in remission?  No.

Hmm.  Let me ponder this one for a bit.  I am okay with not being priority A #1 patient.  If you are not concerned about me and my cancer, grrreat!  I can get on board with that (at least with the help of my qualified therapist).  But what I don't understand is how a doctor's attitude toward patient care changes completely the minute said patient is not currently undergoing any medical procedures.  Oh, wait a minute, now...  I just had a scan!  So that doesn't really follow that logic either.  Hmm.  Back to square one.

I'll back up a bit for those of you feeling some confusion at this juncture.  Last Wednesday, I spent the day in the ER, was scanned for "routine lymphoma" as well as to look for a pulmonary embollism.  Luckily, the preliminary results of the CT scan were "favorable" (as noted by my radiation oncologist - he who actually returns phone calls with results) and no new growth or clot was detected.

I explained in the previous post that I had been feeling shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat and dizzy the past few weeks.  These symptoms worsened in the days just before the scan and did not go away as soon as the results were received.  I know it's connected to anxiety but not caused by anxiety.

After seeing my primary care doctor on Friday morning, we determined that 2% of people taking one of my meds (which, I might add, I had taken years ago with no problems) can experience these side effects.  Did you know that only 2% of NHL is Primary Mediastinal Diffuse Large B Cell?  If I were Frank from 30 Rock, my hat would say TOP 2%.

Dang it.  So I stopped taking that drug pronto and am now on a strict regimen of multi-vitamins (yummy gummies), caltrate (w/ extra vitamin D for my D-ficiency) and as of this week, aloe juice (I'll get to that in a future post - gag me with a spoon).  I am still having some shortness of breath, but it's definitely improved over the past week.

Today, I was supposed to see my employer's doctor.  Just a check-in to see what my current medical status is (and if I am ready to return to work).  I had asked my PCP to write a letter updating my employer (oh, the mystery), which she did and faxed yesterday.  Of course the employer's HEALTH SERVICES department had no record of this letter (I got a strange deja vu feeling while dealing with this business this morning...).  I spent an hour waiting for the doctor's office to re-fax the original letter because I, the employee, cannot be served by the employer's doctor until they have a letter from my personal doctor. AAAAAAAAAAH.  I left for my next appointment (thank heavens therapy was well timed) and had to reschedule the Employee Health Services examination for next week.

After therapy, I stormed my oncologist's office for my scan report.  Turns out Doc was given 5 messages ('doc'umented) and the ladies gave him an earful for his failure to respond to any of them.  I sat and had a chat with my nurse practitioner and we discussed the report and bloodwork.  The bloodwork came back 99% normal (my phosporous levels are low - go figure) and the scan, as I've said before, had favorable results.  The mass is smaller (than the previous CT from July 2010? this is what's written as the compared image in the report) and with less attenuation (which means it's weakened -> less dense).

***

(finishing this post multiple days later)
I still haven't spoken with the doctor about this, or anything else for that matter, so I have some unanswered questions.  Tomorrow I return to Employee Health Services in an attempt to see the doctor again.

I don't want to seem ungrateful for my job or for my outstanding benefits.  I am very appreciative for all of the non-issues in my life, even though they don't always seem to outnumber the frustrations and disappointments.  I simply want to be treated like a patient/employee/human being who is more than an identification number or a statistic.  Furthermore, I want the people who are in charge of my benefits to have the sense and decency to treat me this way.  I know this is asking a LOT, especially when it's more common to speak to someone (representing a school district) who addresses a group of people as yous.  But I really do believe we can do better.  If we can't treat our employees with more respect, what honest expectations can we have for our students?

Upcoming posts include such topics as:  Birthday Bonanza, Waiting for Scans, and Living With a Compromised Immune System (and a 3 year old).

xxoo

Thursday, January 27, 2011

For Pete's Sake

I'd like to start off by extending my appreciation to all of those wonderful workers in the city of Orlando, Florida, who ensure there is an endless supply of toilet seat covers in EVERY SINGLE ladies' room.  I cannot express how much nicer this is for those of us who are not able to pee standing up.

Now. As many of you may already know, Dan, Judah and I took a trip to Florida this past week.  What you may not know is how the trip came to be.  We were sent by a group called For Pete's Sake Cancer Respite Foundation (formerly known as Crossing the Finish Line) to stay in their home 20 minutes from Disney World.  Our flights, rental car, food, and tickets to ALL of the parks were covered.  The 3 bedroom house had everything we needed (plus a pool), and we got really lucky with the weather (except maybe for the NE storm on our way out of Philly).  Only one rainy day, all the rest were warm enough for flip flops.  Sunshine, mickey mouse and family: how much more can one ask for?

Needless to say, the trip was wonderful.  We got a chance to be a family again - just concentrating on one thing: having fun together.  We went to Magic Kingom and met all of the Disney characters (even saw some princesses), Animal Kingdom and went on safari, Epcot and traveled to space, Hollywood Studios and saw Disney Playhouse Live, Universal Studios to visit the wizarding village of Hogsmeade, Sea World to feed dolphins and meet manatees and much, much more.  Only the 600 pictures we took can help us remember everything we did.  Parades, fireworks, 3-D movies, wand demonstrations, killer whale and dolphin shows (now we know where the Olympic divers and gymnasts go after competitions), stage performances, and oh, the rides!  Thank goodness it wasn't like re-living Sesame Place 2010 (refer back to a late August posting for a refresher), Judah loved EVERYTHING.  We asked him over and over, "Did you like that?" and his reply (consistently) was, "Yes, but is there more?  Is it over?  Can we do it again?"

So of course, there is not a thank you note big enough to fill with all of the memories we created together, but FPS must already know how meaningful their work is (or they wouldn't be doing it).  Please check out their website for more information.

As far as my health goes, I was feeling pretty good in FL, except for a slight breathing problem that started a few days before we left.  It's not that I can't breathe, just that I'm not getting enough air.  In order to get enough, I must suck in oxygen to the deepest corners of my lungs.  At first, I thought it was just anxiety.  I experienced it before, during chemo and (at the advice of a doctor) I used the help of a prescription to sleep it off and when I awoke, the problem was no more.

This time, however, the problem did not go away.  In fact, on our last day in FL (in the midst of shopping! how rude!), I had an episode where my heart was racing, I got dizzy and had to lay down (on a bench in Downtown Disney).  I phoned Dr. Henry and his nurse practitioner told me to either get checked out at a nearby ER or see if I could manage until I got back and I would see the doc the same day I was scheduled for my CT scan (just 2 days later).  I opted for choice B, knowing how things in the ER (especially one far away from my medical records) would go.

I had some panicky moments the last night before bed, thinking I probably wouldn't wake up the next morning and would traumatize Judah forever.  Luckily (for all of us), I did wake up and we got back to Philadelphia safe and sound (and on time).

Fast forward to yesterday and the ridiculous snowstorms of January 26, 2011.  After discovering the roads were impassable, my mother and I took the train to center city for my first post-treatment scan.  We walked to the hospital and I was eventually taken back to the scan room.  Even though I had made multiple mentions of my port needing to be accessed, the tech had ignored me and I had to insist on having it accessed.  He finally brought me back to IR (interventional radiology - where I had my first biopsy and my port installed) to get accessed.  My favorite nurse there, Becky, came to help me out.  I mentioned the breathing issue and that I felt like my heart was racing.  She took my vitals and discovered, indeed, my heart was racing (went upto 160 bpm).  Long story short, we spent the day in the ER, had an IV put in my arm (with a rather long catheter, I might add), was scanned for a pulmonary blood clot as well as "routine lymphoma" and was discharged, still with no idea of what is causing the breathing problem.

The good news came from the scan results:  there are no new growths, the mass is smaller and less dense and I have no pulmonary clot!  Yes, I do feel a big sense of relief about having had a successful scan.  I cannot yet declare myself in remission until the PET scan comes back clean (in 2 months), but this is certainly a good start. 

I have an appointment tomorrow with my primary care doctor to figure out how we can fiddle around with some of the meds I'm on, thinking perhaps I'm experiencing some side effects from them (or the combination of them).  Hopefully we can get it sorted out soon so as I can breathe normally again.

For now, we're busy indoors (I am still in my pj's), enjoying being cozy and catching up on TiVo.  I have a lot of picture sorting to do and will try to share as many of the Disney highlights as possible on this snail of a computer.

xxoo

Sunday, January 9, 2011

New Year, New Kitchen, New Plans, New Nails

I reserve a special place in my heart for those wonderful people who clean my house.  I don't mean someone who comes in and vaccuums, or mops, fluffs the pillows and leaves.  I mean the ones who take the time to clean the grout, dust my nightstand and even make pretty tissue arrangements.  Yesterday I came home from a full day of appointments to a sparkly fresh house - floors, dressers, sheets, bathtub... you name it, the team (yes, a team) cleaned it!  Much love and appreciation to the fabulous sponsors of this treat.

Looks a little greasier than it really was. Yum.
We held off on a major cleaning until the kitchen was complete.  Now that it's back in working order, it seems that the rest of our house is in working order as well.  So far, we've prepared full meals in the kitchen including, but not limited to: TJ's chicken sausage/zucchini/pasta melange (see left), banana pancakes, and oatmeal craisin m&m cookies.  We are still working on the accessories and minor touches such as art that needs to be framed (without cracking the glass), putting up the magnetic knife strip, and finding a dog food bin with a flip top lid (this seems to be Dan's ultimate weekend mission).

Yesterday I had a check up with Dr. Henry to discuss radiation, odds and ends, and the next few months.  We planned for a CT scan at the end of January, which will only give us limited information.  What we are hoping for is to see nothing new, possibly even shrinkage (yes, George, shrinkage) of the tumor and of course, no growth.  Obviously I asked for the contingency plan.

Waiting for a needle to the chest.
Plan A (clearly most preferable):  IF I pass that scan, I continue to recover and regain strength until the end of March when I will have the biggie: the PET.  This will look for any remaining "hot spots" (which indicate cancerous activity) and let us know if the treatment was successful. 

Plan B:  IF there is anything suspicious (new growth, tumor bigger, etc.), we proceed directly to an Autologous Stem Cell Transplant (autoSCT).  This is when my own stem cells are harvested and frozen, then I am given a big fat dose of chemo to kill all the baddies.  After all the baddies are dead, I get my own stem cells back and supposedly they proceed directly to my bone marrow and begin to produce those magical white cells again.

Now, if we proceed to Plan A and get to the PET at the end of March only to discover that there is still activity, then Plan B goes into effect anyway.  And the port is staying in until at least March.  So at least we are aware of the possibilities.  I do so like to be prepared.
At least Priscilla was there to do the dirty deed.

Thankfully, in between appointments (Dr. Henry's/port flush/blood draw and my therapist), my mother and I went back to the soo lovely organic nail salon (Tierra Mia) for blindfolded manicures c/o my fairy godmother (heart heart).  Just as the name of the service indicates, the whole time you are blindfolded.  They drizzle oil on your hands and arms, exfoliate with crumbly cornmeal, tickle your head with a tingler, and even pick your color for you (after some discussion and direction on your part).  I wound up with a dusty gray color, which I never would've chosen, but that I'm loving.

Don't forget the freezing spray
It was quite relaxing and distracting, especially after the vomitous visit to the oncologist.  I still continue to be flabbergasted that there aren't more people in the oncologists' waiting room who seem totally disturbed to be there at all.  Are people in denial?  Have they just come to accept these visits or this journey as their fate?  Will I one day not be shocked to find myself seeing an ONCOLOGIST?  After all these months, you'd think I'd have come to terms with it by now.  But, nope.  It is still quite ridiculous.  I have plenty of totally depressing thoughts to share with you.  However, for tonight, I will sign off on a positive note, with a tour of the new (and CLEAN) kitchen.  Enjoy the photos below (note the before, during, and after shots).

Believe it or not, the only BEFORE shot I could find.  Yes, it really was that blue.

During

During

DURING

DURING...
After!  See Judah taking pictures with his own cell phone?

We have a pantry!  There are even roll-out shelves in that big cabinet.

Custom Curtains by Yona

Happy Family
xxoo