Wednesday, July 27, 2011

To Whom It May Concern

imagine me, hunched over and madly typing away
Dear Chemotherapy,

First off, let me say thank you for doing your job as Cancer Killer Extraordinaire.  I know it was not easy, but you blasted through those stubborn lymphocytes and succeeded in part I of last year's biathalon (although you managed to damage quite a few healthy cells in the process).  I appreciate the fact that I am still alive and that I continue to look back on my days with you as a memory.  Hopefully, someday the memory of the time we spent together will dim (kind of like labor pains) and I may even forget you altogether.  Highly unlikely, but not entirely impossible.  After all, you did sever quite a few memory cells.

I'm just wondering why I must continue to clean up after you almost a year after our last rendezvous.  Just today, I went to the dentist, only to find out that I have not one, not two but SIX cavities that need to be tended to.  Seriously??  SIX??  Thanks a bunch. 

I mean, is House real?  I don't even watch the show, but I'm thinking the writers need to start taking notes from me.  I am the mystery case with all of my symptoms:  tachycardia, shortness of breath, breast pains, weird circulation issues, chest pains, reflux, neuropathy, lightheadedness, fatigue...   I have some theories that involve you.  I'm not blaming you, per se, just more giving credit where credit is due.

What I'd really like to say is that September 30 is approaching: the anniversary of our sixth date.  And whether or not I am back to work on that Friday, I am warning you that I am coming to reclaim my life.  Me (and my army) can take it from here.

Thank you kindly,

Mia R. Blitstein


  1. I feel your pain. Unfortunately, I don't have dental insurance. I've got great health insurance but haven't been to the dentist since during chemo. I know that I have 2 cavities and I'm gonna have to get my wisdom teeth removed too. I'm sure I have more than 2 though. I think thats one thing we all have in common. It really ruins your teeth :(

  2. Your army is circling the wagons, awaiting a full on command. Meanwhile, our home has two impatient patients (try telling a dog to kick back for six months) with every reason to be impatient. You're welcome to join us. Got to believe that your various forms of misery will pass--it's as though your experience a full body clean up/renovation following a monstrous storm.
    On the sunny side, Kaley wants to know if you'd like some homemade lemon bars-- your harvest is in!