How Is The Kid?

Many of you have asked how Judah is holding up through this ridiculousness. This morning, Judah woke up, walked into my bedroom and his first words were, "Hi Moms!" He wakes up every morning happy and once he starts talking, he does not stop. We have created a monster. He is doing better with camp (initially there was a LOT of crying involved), where he goes three mornings a week, and continues to be a precocious, delightful, and imaginative child. He often regales us with stories of his adventures in Africa (with his little sister) or England, or when he was in college for 10 weeks learning to play a variety of instruments (including but not limited to: the flute, cello, bass, trombone, violin, tambourine and sticks). Today, Dan and Judah opened up the slip-n-slide Judah got for his birthday back in May and had a blast on the front lawn.

Judah has the most difficult time coping when I am stuck in bed (or on the couch) for days on end and I don't have the energy to do bedtime or bath or even join him at the dinner table. However, he and Dan have been able to develop a closer relationship because of this and if nothing else good can come from my illness, at least Dan doesn't feel so second fiddle.

Our little boy is full of good ideas. After dinner, he often suggests, "I got a good idea! Maybe, after dinner, we can go out for ice cream!" Or, "Maybe, after dinner, we can do the hokey pokey!" Or, on the topic of having the baby sister he so desires, "Maybe, we can go to the baby store."

Clearly, our plans for a second child have been put on hold. We had been working with a fertility specialist for the past year to help us figure out what was preventing pregnancy this time around when we had no problems just a few years ago. Yes, we spent the past year hyper-focused on fertility issues (including frequent doctor appointments, ultrasounds, bloodwork, etc.) only to direct our attention to seemingly all-consuming cancer.

My oncologist concedes that having a tumor the size of a grapefruit growing in my chest quite possibly could have been the cause of our otherwise "unexplained secondary infertility" and he has never had a patient with my diagnosis and treatment who had difficulty conceiving a child afterwards (WAHOO!). My acupuncturist, masseuse (and I'm guessing my chiropractor, were he in on all of this) all agree with him. Makes sense to me. If one part of my system is off, how can the rest perform business as usual? Even though my fertility doctor isn't so convinced, we chose not to freeze embryos prior to starting chemo. I did not want to put off treatment, or really add any more hormones to the mix - have I mentioned how sensitive I am?

Hopefully, when all of this poison has run its course, and the grapefruit (hopefully at least a lemon or lime by now) is squashed into oblivion, we will go back to trying to conceive naturally. We'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it, and if it means we have to go abroad to bring home a sibling for Judah, so be it. For now, he is pretty content being everyone's constant focus of attention.

xxoo